An Open Letter to Scam Likely

Dear Scam Likely,

It’s been a fantastic couple of years with you. From the late night calls to vacation plans, you’ve been there for me through it all. You made sure I was on top of my taxes and never missed a chance to help those in need by “donating” my money to “charity” for me. You are just an all-around fantastic person, and I’m so glad to have known you.

Unfortunately, I’m going to have to end this relationship here and now. I’m sorry – but not really. This has to stop here and now. I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but I can’t wait any longer because you’ve genuinely hurt me. After everything you’ve done, I thought I could go on; however, I just can’t anymore.

For starters, you are super clingy. Your incessant calling drives me insane, and even when I block you, you still find ways to reach me. You steal my neighbor’s phone to call me to try and get me to answer, and that’s just weird and illegal. Sometimes a person just needs some space, and you need to learn to respect that.

Secondly, you have very questionable friends. Hanging around Nusiance Likely just doesn’t bode well for your character. He’s such an inconvenience and very annoying. I’ve also heard that you have people in other countries helping you with your stalking. What’s worse, I found out the government is trying to find and arrest you and your friends!

But that’s not all. You are always asking for money. Then, when I give it to you, where does it go? You say it’s to pay off the credit cards or for tax purposes, but you never use it for that, do you? You take it and keep it for yourself. You’ve never even taken me on the multiple vacations that you’ve promised me! You’ve promised everything from cruises to all-inclusive resorts, but not once have you followed through. But that’s not even the worst part.

Scam Likely, I thought we were in love. Sadly, it turns out you’ve been calling other girls behind my back. What kind of person does that? You told me that I was your one and only, that we would last forever. But no. I found out you don’t just have one or two girls on the side but thousands. How could you do that to me? How could you?

So here I am – hurt, betrayed, broken – but do you even care? Probably not. You have no feelings. You don’t care about me or my what I want. You don’t even respect my sleep schedule. You just want your money. You never loved me, so we are over.


Everyone on the face of the planet

P.S. I enabled Scam Block, so you’ll never be able to reach me again.


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